T: Well, well, well, it appears as if we’ve been given complete creative control over the Double’s Take blog this week.
A: Let’s trash the place.
T: Yes! But first, we should introduce ourselves to the online world.
A: That’s reasonable. I’m Aaron. I’m A and C’s good friend.
T: I’m Trevor, and A is my girlfriend and C is my grand-step-niece. Aaron is my roommate and best friend.
A: So, I’m not sure how I got roped into this, but what should we discuss?
T: In keeping with the twin theme, I believe we should talk about twins. Specifically how we are, in fact, better twins than A and C.
A: But T, we’re just best friends, roommates, and heterosexual life partners. A and C are actual twins. How are we better twins than them?
T: Excellent question, A. There are a number of reasons, many of which you may not be aware of, but they are there. For instance, we are always finishing each others—
T: Exactly! Now, let me ask you, how do you think we are twin-like?
A: Well now that you mention it, it was apparent the moment we met. We were both adolescent males who enjoyed skateboarding and punk rock music.
T: Can’t argue with that. I think we both still enjoy those things. Further to that, we also have an identical sense of humour that could only belong to two people who share the same mind and DNA.
A: Totally. Our jokes often mirror one antlers.
T: Now we’re moosening up!
A: So how do you think we are twin-like, T?
T: On the fashion front, we do dress dapper — and identically. For instance, we own a number of identical band T-shirts.
A: And we often wear them on the same day without planning it, which is straight twinnish. Clearly, this also illustrates our identical tastes in music.
T: We also can read each other’s mind. For instance, A, what number am I thinking of?
T: Yup! Twintuition at its finest. If this isn’t enough, we even went to the same schools together. We did the “2 + 2” program through SAIT and the U of C. Two is the number of twins. Two plus two? Come on, it’s like the program was made for us.
A: We also had the same first three jobs because we couldn’t bear being apart. We also love all kinds of bears.
T: My favourite is a polar bear cub riding a sun bear.
A: I like it when panda bears play chess in their den, which is actually another perfect example of T and I’s twinliness. We are roommates and I believe this is a more significant twin-like quality than simply being womb-mates. We chose to remain together throughout maturation.
T: Great point, A. I think abandoning one another is pretty twinister behaviour. Real twins love spending every waking moment together, like us. I wonder what A did to drive C away? Or was it C who was tired of her older twin? We’ll likely never know.
A: Probably not, since there’s so much distance between them. What else do you think makes us more twin-like?
T: Well, really, we live together, we have the same musical tastes, we dress the same, share an identical sense of humour and worked and went to school together. What more do you need?
A: Great question, T. And here’s the answer. It’s a quick schematic I drew up that accurately represents our striking physical similarities:
T: For those looking at the photo searching for a discrepancy, you’ll notice I’m slightly taller than A. I’m on the left. When you’re a twin, it’s tough stuff telling one another apart. Even I had to do a double take on that one.
A: Ha Ha Ha. Good joke twin best friend roommate brother friend. Let’s play a —
A: Okay, I’ll name something I like, and then if you also like that thing, then you name something you like. If I then like that thing, we repeat the process until one of us names something the other doesn’t like. Make —
A: Yup, I’ll start. Helvetica.
T: Helvetica Neue!
A: The colour green
T: All the same bands
T: Living together
A: Talking about all our twimilarities.
T: Explaining to people about our twimilarities, because we’re identical
A: Carpooling together
T: Playing on the same post-work reacreational sprots parctice team group
A: Trying to interpret what our downstairs neighbour is yelling at people on the phone
T: Going to dog parks, even without dogs.
A: Crushing you at Mortal Kombat. Toasty.
T: Crushing you at Mortal Kombat. Frosty.
A: Finishing each other’s sentences
T: Finishing each other’s sandwiches
A: It’s pronounced sandwich.
T: Yes it is, A. Yes it is.
A: In conclusion, it’s clear that when it gets down to the brass tacks of it, you and I are incalculably more twintertwined and twinteresting than A and C. Wouldn’t you—
T: Agree? Yes.